Nollywood actress Iyabo Ojo has shared insights into the little white lies she told her children about their father to provide them with a sense of balance and stability.
In an interview with AntoSays, Iyabo candidly discussed her reasons for making this decision and revealed some of the fabrications she used to shield her kids from harsh realities. Opening up about her parenting choices, Iyabo Ojo offered a heartfelt explanation of her intentions and the challenges she faced.
Speaking about the little white lies she told her children about their father, Iyabo Ojo opened up saying:
IYABO OJO: There’s something they call white lie. My story is crazy, when I say crazy I mean I need to write a book about my life cuz sometimes when I sit down and I look at the mirror and I look at myself I’m like oh girl, how did you pull through?
I didn’t come from a balanced family. When I say balanced, I don’t mean financially. My family financially were very okay, but my upbringing wasn’t balanced because of the things that were going on with my dad and my mom and my family. So I did not come from a balanced family and one thing I craved and wanted was my kids to have a balanced home.
So when that didn’t happen, the first thing I did was to block my kids off everything that was going on. My kids didn’t have access to social media or phone or anything until they were like probably 15 or 14. That was when I allowed them to start even knowing what they call social media or whatever it is. They didn’t have access to reading newspapers or anything because I told a lot of white lies and that was the fact that your dad is a traveler, he travels a lot.
So they didn’t realize that we were separated for a very long time and I made sure that no matter how angry I was with their dad, I allowed him access to his kids when he came home to visit. I bought Christmas gifts, New Year gifts. I always had to double the gifts I will buy: one from him, one for me and make sure his own is bigger because he’s never around. I put it right under the Christmas tree so when they wake up in the morning, they run down and the first box they want to open is their dad’s.
And when he was around, before he traveled, I made sure he always had to come around to see the kids, take them out, and explain to them. When they started growing, started asking questions like why does my dad have another house, then I’m like the house is very close to his office so it’s easy for him.
I did that because I wanted my kids to have this balanced life. I wanted them to able to be in class, in school, and then their friends are talking about their mom and dad and they can also talk about their mom and dad.
So whenever he comes home to visit, I act very cool with him. I’m like his friend, we’re gisting, we’re laughing, even if I might be insulting him but you know that kind of thing. I just had to make sure that I kept my kids away from everything that was going on. They didn’t know nothing.